Finding Coffee Shop Seating

I love having business meetings or just meeting friends for a good cup of coffee at my local Peet's Coffee & Tea shop. The scent of roasted coffee always smells so great and I think its the best coffee on this planet.


Unfortunately, I am not the only person who likes to take meetings there. Almost every time I visit, I have to be strategic about getting a table. There is actually quite a bit of seating, as compared to most coffee shops, but there are always too many people competing for the real estate. To make matters worse, there is no organized structure for allowing the people to claim tables in a fair an equitable manner. It's a problem very similar to the "line management" issue I raised in my December 22, 2009 post.

I was meeting a friend there, just yesterday, and as usual, there were no tables to be found. I always scope out the situation as soon as I enter the shop. I survey the available tables and take a quick look at the number of people in line to see if there is a match. Then I address the seated patrons again to look for any signs that some are finishing up and may be leaving soon. I know I am not the only person to do this. If necessary, I may even set my personal stuff down at a table to stake my claim before I get in line.

This option was not available yesterday, so I just jumped in line while keeping my eyes stealthily focused on any movement that would indicate a table would soon be available.

After I purchased my cup of coffee, I continued to scour the room while waiting for my friend to show up. I tried walking around and giving eye contact to anyone who would look up. My intentions were very clear. While I wanted to passively send a message out that I was looking for the next available table, I didn't want to be so overt as to interrupt people's conversations. I certainly didn't feel the need to yell out into the room that I would like the next free table when someone left. But then how else are you supposed to get one?

I felt the pressure mounting as more and more people were getting coffee and roaming the shop also looking for seating. Shouldn't I be allowed to sit next? I had waited the longest. I found myself playing a game of musical chairs as each of us were walking throughout the shop waiting for the music to stop. Was I supposed to literally mark my territory and hover over a group of people in order to get there first? Do I need to tackle someone?

I found myself competing with a couple of teenage girls who were also looking for a spot, when suddenly some of their friends who decided to leave, called out to them offering their table as they left. Totally unfair I thought! Why couldn't I have friends who were leaving.

Anyway, I finally scraped together two free chairs and moved them to a spot where we could sit, and as soon as we were ready to sit down, a table opened up and we grabbed it. The next people in line looking for a table were pleased to use our two random chairs instead.

Ah, survival of the fittest.

Dogs Off Leash

I don't understand why people let their dogs roam off leash, unattended around their homes or, more importantly, walk them off leash in busy, public places.

It seems, without fail, every time I take my sweet eight year old champagne lab, Shannon, for a walk, we encounter another stray dog, either protecting its property, or sometimes with its caretaker, off leash. We even encounter people walking their animals on leash that also want to bare and gnash their teeth at my sweet companion.

Once encountered, and the offending dog goes into his snarling and barking routine, then the person walking the dog goes into action, trying to leash the dog while barking back at the animal "no, no, bad dog", all the time, trying to make you believe this has never happened before. That's usually when other animals or people get bit, and that's when problems really start. Not to mention that stray dogs can get hurt too. Not only have I picked up stones, sticks and other things ready to kick and defend Shannon and myself, but they can also get hit by a car when unattended.

My dog has been barked at, snarled at, gnashed at, and even bitten with severe bleeding, and I had to take her to the vet. The other dog's caretaker apologized and offered to pay the vet bill. I often wonder if Shannon has developed any insecurities or wonders why so many other dogs, off and on leash, seem to want to strike out at her.

I am sure people think they are doing their pets a favor when they walk them roam their front yards or take them for walks off leash. You are probably thinking how fun it is to watch them chase their ball and to run, do their business, and all the other doggie activities. Sure your dog has never bitten anyone else - YET!

Do everyone, including your pooch, a favor, if you really love them, and demonstrate it by controlling them on a leash when the are in public places. And yes, the street in front of your house is a public place too!

Waiting Line Managment

I think that any establishment that deals with the public in a retail type environment should be required to brush up on their "line management" skills.

When I was a kid, our family owned one of the most popular Baskin Robbins ice cream stores in our town. On any Friday or Saturday night, we could have up to fifty people waiting in line at any particular moment. And you know what? They didn't mind, because we greeted them, treated them kindly, let them understand the situation, and they knew they would be waited on when it was their turn. They understood quickly to pick a little paper number out of the machine and watch the countdown on the wall. As ice cream scoopers, we knew to keep glancing up at the crowd to make sure everyone was paying attention to the system. If someone seemed like they didn't understand the system, we would take a second to explain it. We would occasionally speak up and let everyone know that no matter how busy it was, we were working quickly and would wait on everyone, in order, as quickly as possible. The system kept the crowds orderly and happy!

So what has happened over the past 30 years or so? How could a bunch of teenagers in the 70s manage a retail waiting line better than the merchants of today? Has all civility and courtesy gone out the window?

I don't know who is more at fault. The merchants and retailers or the selfish customers. All I can say is that I have encountered this situation far too often.

As recently as yesterday, I was at a drug store that had two working sales counters. There was a sales person working each of the cash registers and each had a customer. When I was ready to make my purchase, I approached the the area but it was not clear whether each register had a separate line or whether there was supposed to be one line of customers. Several customers were ready to make our purchase at the same time, so we started a line in the middle of the area with the concept that a sales person would help the next customer in line. This worked for the 10 minutes I was waiting in line.

Then a third sales person showed up and opened a third register. There were eight people in line. However, as the sales person opened the new register, instead of asking who was next out of the already established line, a new customer that had just finished shopping whisked right up to the register ignoring everyone else around and the sales person waited on her.

Am I crazy or does this type of thing happen to others, and more importantly, what are we to do about it?

Is Regifting Tacky?

This is the last week before Christmas, and most of the holiday parties, except for that final office party are over. While families will still plan to get together over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, many business relationships have already exchanged gifts. It's not uncommon for businesses to send their best or favorite clients gifts during the holidays. I know that I have received my fair share over the years.

The question is - Is it acceptable to re-gift those presents to someone else you know that will appreciate them? I am not raising the question about whether one should re-gift something personal given to them by a cherished friend. That is a matter all together different. But does the same etiquette apply to corporate gifts?

Say for example, that I wanted to purchase a nice bottle of wine for a friend. Then I receive a nice bottle of wine from a company that does business with me. Can I change the label and give that gift to the friend I wanted to originally give a bottle of wine to? Especially if it is a quality bottle and something I know my friend would like?

I'll leave the answer up to my good friend Mike Supple at SuppleWine.com.  What do you say Mike?

John Debella Show Presents - That's Life

I don't know why it is so funny when people injure themselves - but it is. How else do you think so many of those Bloopers, Blunders, and Other Home Video shows did so well on broadcast television.

So to all my friends out there who think that 2009 was anywhere from a terrible year to the very worst year of their lives, take a moment and laugh with me at this little video, compliments of the John Debella Show. A good friend of mine passed this along to me a year or so ago, and I still enjoy watching it. After all, a little laughter makes life easier.

The Hidden Cost of Travel Tipping

I was recently traveling overnight and was excited that I had discovered a new hotel. It had many great features at an extremely reasonable rate of only $89 per night.

When my taxi pulled up in front of my destination I gave the driver a $5 tip on a $30 fare and requested my receipt. As I was exiting the taxi, a doorman opened my door and welcomed me to the resort. He was full of smiles and immediately reached for my bag. Before I could stop him, he had it in his hands and was leading me into the check in counter. Too late, I thought. It would be rude to grab it from him now, so I followed him to the front desk as he placed it on the luggage trolley. As he turned and smiled to me, I reached in to my pocket and handed him $2.00. Seemed like an insignificant amount, but how much work had really transpired here? The whole event took maybe 60 seconds. Hmmmm. That equates to $120 per hour. Not bad work, if you can get it.

At the front desk, there were more bellhops standing by eager to check my baggage. However, I was lucky and my room was ready. With card key in hand, another seasoned and friendly gentleman escorted me to my room enthusiastically pointing out the various room features. Finding the thermostat, TV, light switch, and mini bar would have taxed me beyond exhaustion were it not for his assistance. As he placed my bag in the closet, he turned to ask me if I needed anything else. This, by the way, is code for "It's time to tip me if you have any etiquette at all". I handed him a fiver.

As I settled into my room, I turned on the TV (thank goodness its location and the remote had been previously pointed out to me) and began flipping through the room service menu. Room service is one of my most favorite things in life. I wish I had it at home. Enough said! This hotel, by the way, has the fastest service I have ever seen. I am used to waiting 30 minutes to an hour, but this burger, fries, and diet coke had to be delivered within 5 to 7 minutes.

I reviewed the check noticed that in addition to an automatic 18% service charge, there was also a $3 delivery charge, and a line asking for additional tip. Why ask for more tip if you are going to tell me what I have to tip anyway? That's another story. My server seemed like a nice kid. He had already opened my mini ketchup bottle for me and twisted the top of my soda. Now he was hovering over me, waiting patiently for me to sign the check. "Additional Tip" seemed to be flashing out in bold neon and I was choking under the pressure.

The 18% only added up to $2.16. Should I round up to $3? 84 cents seemed like an odd tip. $1 seemed too low. I know that servers do not get the delivery charge, so I decided on $2, after all he had to take the elevator all the way to the 12th floor. And both he and the kitchen were quick. I certainly couldn't risk him going back to the kitchen and telling everyone that the guy in room 1215 was a cheapskate. I might want to order desert later.

Then there is housekeeping. Housekeeping staff are the people that you may see wandering in the halls but rarely have contact with them in your own room. They sneak in like nighttime ninjas to turn down your room and slip out quickly and silently. They fluff your pillows, turn on music, and place that ever sweet square of chocolate near your bedside.

They return in the morning to clean your dirty shower, tub, sink and toilet and change soiled sheets. Yet because they go largely unnoticed, are they any less deserving of a tip than all the bellhops and food servers with outstretched hands?

Many don't tip housekeeping staff, either because they forget, or they just don't know how to do it. I believe the rule of thumb is to either put your tip into an envelope with "Housekeeping" written on it, or at least write a note with the tip next to it and place it on the bed. Otherwise, they are required to turn in loose change as "articles left behind". I like to tip $2 to $3 per day, and I tip daily because it might be a different person each day.

For a one night stay, I got off cheaply. I have stayed in 4 and 5 star hotels where service people would double team me. Its very uncool to "halve" a tip, so in those circumstances, you have to "double" the tip. Ouch!

On this trip, I didn't need any laundry delivered to my room. No special deliveries from the front desk were needed either. Engineering wasn't called to fix a light, and I was also able to avoid the concierge. I didn't even need the front doorman to hail one of the taxis lined up out front. No, indeed, I got off easy.

Final tip tab for a one night stay: Seven Tips Totaling $22.16. Lesson learned: Bring plenty of singles with me on future trips.

Would You Like A Mint?

Have you ever been offered a stick of gum or a mint and waved it away?  Did you even think twice about it? Should you have been so quick to dismiss the gesture?

When someone opens a tin of mints or a package of gum, takes one them self, and then offers it to another, should anyone ever pass? The gesture may be a sincere form of sharing, or it may be a passive comment, and socially acceptable way to deal with another's sour breath.

Ever seen a pack of teenagers hang out together? They are extremely conscious about their social status among their peers. Most of them care about the clothes they wear, the way their skin and hair looks, and most importantly, the freshness of their breath. Chances are if you were to go through the pockets, purses or backpacks of most teens, among the very interesting items you might discover, you would find mints or gum. They are always in constant supply and always shared.

Aside from people who have chronic gingivitis, no matter how often a person flosses, brushes, or gargles, we can all be caught off guard. That last burger with onion, the garlic in the pasta, or even that last cup of coffee can do the trick. You will generally be the last to know about your own status.

Regardless of how one's breath advances to an offensive state, what should be the appropriate protocol when offered a mint? Unless you are a diabetic and afraid the sugary treat is going to throw your blood sugar into a tailspin, I say, when offered a mint, you reply with "Sure, mind if I have two"?

The Etiquette of Restaurant Tipping

I have become fascinated with the concept of tipping lately and have decided to discuss it in three separate segments:

1. Restaurant Tipping
2. Travel Tipping
3. Holiday Tipping

Anyone who has ever eaten out in a restaurant has been faced with the prospect of tipping their server. The issue has not been so much "if" they should tip, but "how much" they should tip. Although tipping is defined as a voluntary gratuity offered for services rendered, whether we like it or not, it has morphed into a social custom and has now become a responsibility.

So lets call a spade a spade. Who should be tipped, how much, and when?

For a typical restaurant meal, the consensus still seems to be between 10% and 25%, but that is a huge spread, and can add up to a significant sum depending on the amount of the meal ticket. Everybody seems to have their own concept of an acceptable percentage and a method for calculating it.

Have you ever put much thought into your own tipping philosophy? Do you just multiply the total tab by 10%? 20% or 25%. Are you one of those folks who "doubles the tax"? Do you subtract the cost of alcohol? Do you have to whip out your calculator to get it exact or can you just round the general amount up or down to a suitable figure?

Do you reward really good service or great food with a better tip? Do you punish poor service with a lessor tip? Is there such a thing as a gracious "minimum" tip, when the tab doesn't amount to much? Or are you like the late Frank Sinatra who was rumored to walk through the kitchen of his favorite restaurants handing everyone a crisp $100 bill?

In examining my own thoughts about tipping, I realized that I would generally be perceived as a gracious tipper. I reasoned that if I can afford to eat out, then I can certainly afford to be a gracious tipper.

Restaurant owners and managers have engineered their financial models with tipping in mind, and have trained us to perform. Service people are generally paid minimum wage and look to tips to augment their otherwise meager means. The whole backbone of the restaurant works on this system. Generally speaking, the tip you provide to your server is "spread around" the kitchen. Servers usually offer a portion of their tips to busboys and kitchen help as well.

So what should you tip if you aren't eating your meal in the restaurant? Lately, I have found myself purchasing many restaurant meals to go. I never used to think about takeout food much, but I have noticed lately that the credit card slips are practically begging for a tip.

So I find myself wondering, what is the proper tipping etiquette for take out food? Is one still expected to offer up to 25% of the meal price for simply having someone stuff all your food into a paper sack and ring up your charge on the cash register? Is there a minimum amount that should be offered to show some appreciation for the minimum service offered? Has somebody written a rule of etiquette about this yet?

In the small town I live in, I know many of the owners of the restaurants I frequent, and they often wait on me themselves, whether it is a purchase to go or whether I eat my meal in their restaurant. Since they are the owners of the operation, and presumably living on more than minimum wage, are they entitled to receiving any tip? A minimum tip? I am just curious. I realize that many establishments pool their tips, but when did it become my responsibility to understand each restaurant's specific rules of operation.

If restaurant operations are such fragile ecosystems, wouldn't it just be easier for them to raise their prices and pay their employees more? Since not tipping isn't socially acceptable, why not just tell us how much to pay? Many restaurants already do this with minimum 15% to 18% gratuities added onto the meal ticket. I am fine with this concept, but why then have an additional line asking us for additional tip. This does not eliminate any frustration on our parts.

While I will continue to obsess about "take out" and "restaurant owner" tips, one thing is undeniable for me, and that is that I love to eat, I love to eat good food, and I love to eat out. Since I appreciate good food, good service, and good restaurants, I will do my duty and be a good tipper to ensure the longevity of my favorite places to dine.

Charities and the Holiday Season

We are in the midst of the full swing of the Holiday Season. We just finished observing Thanksgiving and now here comes Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

As we go about our lives, shopping for groceries and gifts alike, we are faced with the myriad of charities which pop up on the streets and sidewalks in front of all our favorite stores. Sometimes the number of groups are overwhelming. There is the Salvation Army, Boy Scouts of America, and many specialized organizations to feed the homeless, help our soldiers overseas, and provide food and clothing to underprivileged children.

As I recently encountered several of these charities myself, I caught myself playing a game where I tried to avoid eye contact with them. I literally tensed up at the thought of a face to face encounter. I found it both curious and strategic that a specific organization had located themselves right next to the ATM machine. I couldn't pretend I didn't have any money. Surely they didn't expect me to give each of them a $20, and there is no way one can ask for change back. So I found myself fiddling with my iPhone instead, reading phantom e-mails, and anything else to minimize the guilt of not acknowledging their presence and my discomfort in avoiding yet another plea for money by the needy. Even as I walked away, feigning obliviousness, they would call out a friendly greeting for me to enjoy the rest of my day.

After the moment had passed and I was safely out of their field of vision, I felt horrible. Why were my first instincts to avoid them instead of embrace them? Surely the Universe doesn't expect me to give money to each and every charity I encounter on a daily basis - does it?

Then again, what is the harm in giving them something, anything, even if its a very small donation. Even encouragement, well wishes, a friendly hello, and warm handshake is a more loving response than pure avoidance. I don't think a person should have to think too much about this. It goes to the root of one's belief system. Will I miss the money? Unlikely. Could the charity's benefactors need it more than me? Very likely. Would they appreciate it? Does it matter?

Isn't the point of giving a donation to those who need it, the opportunity to define oneself as a giving person? Shouldn't a person focus on their desire and ability to give and less about monitoring and controlling the gift?

My actions defined me not so much as a greedy person, but likely a judgemental person. Perhaps I was feeling "ganged up on". Or perhaps I was penalizing the charity for being so crafty and strategic. If they were this crafty, how did I know the money would go to good use. Being strategic does not make them untrustworthy and does not minimize their need.

Nonetheless, whatever my reasons were, the bottom line is that I used the opportunity to define myself as something that I don't wish to be. I do not want to be a fearful or judgmental of other's intentions or actions. When given the opportunity by God and the Universe, to show my generosity, I chose not to be generous. Furthermore, I tried to defend my actions internally by finding fault with the scenarios.

I am not sure what the Universe expects of me, but I now know what I expect of myself. Next time I am given the opportunity to be generous, I will act out in a generous manner.

It Is What It Is

I have been considering blogging for sometime now and can't believe I am finally doing it.

It seems we are on the verge of an age of enlightenment. A time when we will see things differently.  An opportunity to reflect on our past, reevaluate our priorities and focus on the simpler and more important aspects of life.

As I personally seize this challenge, I am also more observant about life around me and have finally decided to reflect on all the special, curious, and significant moments within my own life.  Some of them are very serious and life changing and others are just plain silly impressions. 

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am partial to saying "It Is What It Is".  In fact, that will probably be on my tombstone. The point is, there isn't much you can really do about all those pet peeves and other bizarre situations life throws your way, except to decide how you will respond to them.

While I intend to make meaningful changes in my life that truly reflect who I choose to be, I intend to use this blog as a platform to observe and report the many instances in life where we can ponder both the serious and the silly questions that nobody ever gave us the answers to.