Charities and the Holiday Season

We are in the midst of the full swing of the Holiday Season. We just finished observing Thanksgiving and now here comes Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

As we go about our lives, shopping for groceries and gifts alike, we are faced with the myriad of charities which pop up on the streets and sidewalks in front of all our favorite stores. Sometimes the number of groups are overwhelming. There is the Salvation Army, Boy Scouts of America, and many specialized organizations to feed the homeless, help our soldiers overseas, and provide food and clothing to underprivileged children.

As I recently encountered several of these charities myself, I caught myself playing a game where I tried to avoid eye contact with them. I literally tensed up at the thought of a face to face encounter. I found it both curious and strategic that a specific organization had located themselves right next to the ATM machine. I couldn't pretend I didn't have any money. Surely they didn't expect me to give each of them a $20, and there is no way one can ask for change back. So I found myself fiddling with my iPhone instead, reading phantom e-mails, and anything else to minimize the guilt of not acknowledging their presence and my discomfort in avoiding yet another plea for money by the needy. Even as I walked away, feigning obliviousness, they would call out a friendly greeting for me to enjoy the rest of my day.

After the moment had passed and I was safely out of their field of vision, I felt horrible. Why were my first instincts to avoid them instead of embrace them? Surely the Universe doesn't expect me to give money to each and every charity I encounter on a daily basis - does it?

Then again, what is the harm in giving them something, anything, even if its a very small donation. Even encouragement, well wishes, a friendly hello, and warm handshake is a more loving response than pure avoidance. I don't think a person should have to think too much about this. It goes to the root of one's belief system. Will I miss the money? Unlikely. Could the charity's benefactors need it more than me? Very likely. Would they appreciate it? Does it matter?

Isn't the point of giving a donation to those who need it, the opportunity to define oneself as a giving person? Shouldn't a person focus on their desire and ability to give and less about monitoring and controlling the gift?

My actions defined me not so much as a greedy person, but likely a judgemental person. Perhaps I was feeling "ganged up on". Or perhaps I was penalizing the charity for being so crafty and strategic. If they were this crafty, how did I know the money would go to good use. Being strategic does not make them untrustworthy and does not minimize their need.

Nonetheless, whatever my reasons were, the bottom line is that I used the opportunity to define myself as something that I don't wish to be. I do not want to be a fearful or judgmental of other's intentions or actions. When given the opportunity by God and the Universe, to show my generosity, I chose not to be generous. Furthermore, I tried to defend my actions internally by finding fault with the scenarios.

I am not sure what the Universe expects of me, but I now know what I expect of myself. Next time I am given the opportunity to be generous, I will act out in a generous manner.