I was at Peets Coffee & Tea yesterday morning, waiting to have coffee with my younger brother. As I stood in line, behind a bunch of sleepy-eyed coffee junkies, painfully listening to their orders, I wondered, "Am I am the last person on earth who still appreciates a plain mug of black coffee"?
There I was, yet again, stuck in a line behind a bunch of complicated coffee requests. We had all arrived about the same time, but the other patrons inched through the front door seconds ahead of me. I could just tell that the "soccer mom" was going to order more than one drink, and it wouldn't be pretty! I thought briefly about making a run for it, to squeeze in ahead of her, but I was already outflanked by the others anyway, so why not just relax for a change. Too bad there isn't a "Black Coffee Only" express line. But I have issues with express lines as well!
As I get closer to the register, I listen to the barista shouting out the finished orders as he places them on the counter.
"Medium, Nonfat, Half-Caf, Low Foam, Cinnamon Spice Mocha"
"Large, Double Shot Vanilla, Decaf, Caramel Macchiato, Light drizzle"
"Small, Dark Chocolate Caramel Mocha Freddo"
Where's the frickin' coffee? These weren't cups of coffee. They were liquid candy bars. These places aren't called Starbucks Liquid Candy Store or Peets Emulsified Desserts. No! They are coffee houses, and I thought the point was to infuse some caffeine into our bloodstreams. The people picking up their drinks certainly looked like they could use a pick-me up. Dazed and zombie-like, they looked like they couldn't remember their names let alone a nineteen syllable coffee drink.
When it was finally my turn, my order seemed a little underwhelming. "Large Coffee, black please, no room for cream". The clerk looked at me quizzically, as if to say "really . . . you stood in that long line for this"?
My order was efficient and fast. I wondered if there is some college course that offers the ins and outs of proper drink ordering. Lets see, what do you need to remember? Drink size, full fat, low fat, or non fat milk, lots of foam or light foam, syrup flavor, number of pumps, caffeine or decaf, whip or no whip. I am already dizzy. The options seem endless. And don't get me started about Starbucks. You need a special manual just to navigate through their sizing selections.
I remember having my first cup of coffee in 1971, when I was around 14 years old. We often visited my grandmother during the summer and when all the relatives gathered, they always seemed to be holding a cup.
It seemed like such an "adult" thing to do. Drink Coffee. I so badly wanted to be an adult. So I had my first cup of coffee that summer. It wasn't very good. But it was interesting and it was hot, and I even liked the way it warmed my hands when I cupped the mug. In those days, everybody drank Folgers and Hills Brothers at home. Coffee on the go was purchased at places like 7-11 or McDonalds, and served in flimsy styrofoam cups with non-fitting, plastic lids with those little fold-back pieces of plastic that covered the drink opening. Decaf was otherwise known as Sanka. We have come a long way!
My grandmother was semi-amused and offered to doctor my cup up with lots of sugar and cream to make it taste better. Granted, this is the woman who used to give us kids melted butter for our sore throats. Mmmm - butter! But I was no kid. I was en route to my manhood and wanted to follow the ritual correctly. If the adults were drinking coffee black, so was I.
Kids drinking sugar and fat infused coffee is probably how this whole fancy coffee drink movement got started in the first place.
My first cup was black and I still drink it that way today. No over priced, high calorie count, yuppified coffee drink for me. I love it black. I love it hot. And most importantly, I love it strong!
For me, a great day starts with an early morning, with the sun coming up, and a hot cup of French-press, French roast coffee! Today's version of a plain cup of Joe.
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