What Was Your Name Again?

One of the unfortunate side effects of growing older is partial memory loss. I have forgotten where my car keys are, what I ate for dinner yesterday, and even my train of thought occasionally. But the most annoying form of memory loss for me, is when I can't recall a person's name in public.

I'd like to think the reason is that my brain is so full of revolutionary, world changing ideas, that there is insufficient memory capacity for incidental recollections like Latin plant names or the periodic table of elements. Don't the names of occasional friends and acquaintances fall into that category as well? I mean, just like knowing the capital of each state and its chief export, how often does one need immediate access to this information?

However, I suppose it could be equally argued, that in spite of my large head, I just have a thick skull, and a small brain as well. This has been suggested to me quite often in the heat of battle. But I forget who suggested it, because thankfully, there is no room at the Inn for those types of memories either.

To look at it another way, my memory access is like the way I manage my "computer screen desktop". I keep all my current file icons, the files I am regularly working on, on the screen so I can access them easily. They are organized in an orderly system, and I know where everything is. These are the files I need to access frequently. Everything else gets filed in folders and sub folders in my "Documents" file on my hard drive.

When it comes to greeting people, feelings get involved, and while some may forgive a temporary lapse of recollection, others will be hurt. Its just plain difficult to forget the super charismatic, those that are important to us, or people we have regular contact with. So, while I can recall that the atomic symbol for Gold is AU or Silver is AG, I clearly love gold and silver,  and can remember those from 7th grade science. However, if I ever run into Ruthenium or Bohrium on the street, I am in trouble.

On too many occasions lately, I have run into people that I know very well, but fumble as I search for their name when greeting them. I can instantly become the most astute listener as I hang on to their every word for some glimpse of recognition.

I ran into a few old friends recently and felt some embarrassing discomfort when I came up short with their names.  While they both greeted me with a smile and "Hi Randy", I was horror struck as I extended my hand to shake theirs.  I even think I smelled a faint burning smell as my brain was speeding through the possible list of names in my head. I virtually had only seconds as I reached out in slow motion and started very slowly to say, "Hey. Its good to see you . . . (nope nothing was coming to mind and I needed to complete the greeting) . . . guys.  Damn! My brain failed me again. What am I supposed to do now? Are they suspicious? Do they know?

So, paralyzed with fear, I begin to over compensate. Because even though I can't remember their names, I remember them, and just about every time we have ever been together, so why, why, why has my memory betrayed me?

I begin to introduce meaningless trivia into our discussion that points to the fact that we are close friends. Reminiscing about past encounters, and mutual friends. I think its working. They are smiling and laughing.

But just when I think all has gone well, it suddenly gets awkward again. I forgot that I am not alone. Its clear we are starting to exceed to 2-3 minute allowable greeting period, and social custom dictates that I introduce my companion to them. Oh God!  I am having a meltdown. Why didn't I just say hello and walk away.  I am back in the danger zone and there is no escaping it now.

For a brief second, I can sense their discomfort, and I wished that they would just introduce themselves, or that my companion would step up and do so. That would make it easier for everyone.

Well, I needed to do something, so I did the best I could and acted a little ditzy. "Oh by the way, I am not sure if you guys have met".  Before I could get much deeper into it, and stumble into anymore awkwardness, they introduced themselves to each other. Bingo! It all came rushing back to me in torrents.

It was time to bring this encounter to a successful close.  So, with all the necessary information in hand, I did what any self respecting faker would do. I began to over compensate. Oh yes!  I threw in their names, as often as I could, right up until the end of the conversation. If it wasn't clear in the beginning, it was clear in the end - that I knew them well!

Epilogue

What is so surprising to me now, is even though I can recall the entire conversation with this couple, I still can't recall their names.  Oh well.